Subtlety.
Today’s #AskSisyphus submission comes from last week … and it was asked by @OfficeBitchSays
https://twitter.com/OfficeBitchSays/status/248098735903612928
“can you answer the age old question of real vs fake breasts? When should women think about getting them? After or before kids?”
As with anything involving one’s body, this is an intensely personal question. Some of the various aspects of this are also really difficult for me to understand because I’m a man, so bear with me while I go through this.
First and foremost what you do with your body is your business. If you want to get a boob job you should do it and I don’t have any real opinion on it. I don’t think it’s morally wrong or deplorable in any way … even if you did it to get ahead in your career or you took your rent money and bought boobs instead. Your body, your money, your life, your business.
Secondly: Real vs. Fake breasts. As a man who likes women I don’t have any first hand experience with fake breasts, or at least if I do I was unaware of it at the time. That said, it doesn’t matter to me one way or another. What matters to me is …
Self-Esteem. Confidence and high self-esteem are sexy. If you are a woman and you need larger breasts to feel more feminine, or to maintain your claim on womanhood, by all means go and get yourself some larger breasts. I don’t think larger breasts will make you more attractive, feeling at home in your body and pleased with the way you look is more attractive than feeling ashamed or insecure.
There are many women who get mastectomies either because they have breast cancer or because they want to prevent the opportunity for it in the future. Some of these women choose to get implants after their surgeries so they can go back to the body they’ve been living with their whole lives. I think this form of augmentation is vastly different than someone who just wants more cleavage to flash at the club.
Unfortunately our society has some body issues, and one of them is the idea that bigger breasts are sexier than smaller breasts. Magazines, websites, and television shows bombard us with busty heartthrobs and top-heavy ingenues … so young girls everywhere feel like they’re inadequate if they don’t look like these bombshells. This eventually leads to teenagers getting boob jobs before their breasts are even done developing. I think that parenting plays a role in this as well, but that’s a discussion for another day.
I had a female roommate for a few years who liked to watch The Hills. I don’t know the actress’ name but if I recall she ended up going off and having her breasts done and they looked downright ridiculous. I don’t know whether it was because she had them enhanced to a certain point and then continued to grow, or whether she just was an idiot and took things too far. Either way, she looks like a caricature of her former self. Like a clown caricature.
When should women think about getting them? This brings me back to my original point. If you’re 18 and you think you want bigger breasts … it’s your decision. Hopefully your doctor will help you find a time (an age) and a way to do it that’s healthy for you and won’t have any effects on your ability to nurse children (should you desire to do so) or have any odd hormonal effects (which I don’t think boob jobs generally do). I don’t know if it matters or not whether you get them before or after kids.
Upon doing a little internet research here, here, or here (nsfw), it seems like the general consensus is that it’s wisest to wait until after you’ve finished having children and your breasts have returned to their pre-pregnancy size. With the changing of your body through pregnancy the implants may need to be adjusted afterwards so it’s advisable to wait. You’re still able to nurse if you got them before, but you may need touch up surgeries after to get them back to where they were originally before the pregnancy.
So if you want bigger breasts, do your homework, save your money (average costs less than $6k apparently), talk to a doctor and get a move on. I’m sure you’ll want to show them off after spending that much time and money, and going through that much pain. When you do, Twitter is there for you and so is the rest of the internet. Sharing is caring.
If you don’t want bigger breasts you shouldn’t feel compelled to get them just because society seems to think they’re a defining characteristic to feminine beauty. I’ve never had a problem finding someone attractive with small or nonexistent breasts. If you find that your experiences with men are different than that, find better men. And if you have small breasts, sharing is still caring.
Cautionary Tale: I dated a girl for a while whose ex-boyfriend had offered to buy her a boob job. Needless to say she had body image issues and a low self-esteem thanks to years with this fuckwad. Do not be this girl. If your man or your woman comes to you and wants to talk to you about changing your body … think long and hard about whether this is the person you want to give your time and energy to … or if maybe they’re just a fuckwad.
Don’t date fuckwads. That is all.
8 comments
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Office Goddess (@office_goddess)
September 27, 2012 at 7:00 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
First, because I’m a child – BOOBS.
Second, very interesting. If only everyone believed and adhered to the “feeling at home in your body and pleased with the way you look is more attractive than feeling ashamed or insecure.” (Not that I don’t fall victim to it myself. Although I find the older I get the more I’m like, “Ok well, this is it. Choose to change what you don’t like (and can) and learn to love the rest of it already, because its been 3 decades and this is just the way its going to be.”)
Third, and here’s an #asksisyphus for you even – What is a fuckwad? How do you know a person is a fuckwad? Do you have any advice on how to avoid these creatures? (Because that would be just GREAT).
Lost in the Cube
September 27, 2012 at 7:09 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
When I was young I didn’t have much in the boob dept. And I hated it. But as I got older and put on weight I now have more than my fair share and I hate it. Just like hair, you always want what you don’t have. Guess that old saying, the grass is always greener on the other side is true. Doesn’t matter if you have been on both sides or not.
Sisyphus
September 27, 2012 at 7:12 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Yeah, after three decades I’m sort of having the same response. Thanks for the #AskSisyphus question, I’ll put that on the list! It will have to be a couple weeks though, or a second post for next week. I’ve got another one in queue from @Kate_Jennings89 for next week.
Sisyphus
September 27, 2012 at 7:16 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
That’s a pretty astute statement. It’s easy to be unhappy with what you’ve got, no matter what it is … or think that life would be better if only you had what that seemingly happy or successful or attractive person has. I think everyone feels that way to some extent. It’s hard not to.
Mega
September 27, 2012 at 7:40 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Excellent piece!! I enjoyed reading from a guys perspective that wasn’t the usual “bigger are better”
I do have to say, my favourite boobies are the blue footed boobie birds
Double Trouble
September 27, 2012 at 7:43 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I would like to take this moment to disabuse any of you out there of the myth that your boobs will shrink down to a pre-pregnancy size. LIES! GODDAMN LIES! AND STATISTICAL INEPTITUDE!
I was promised smaller boobs when I was done breast-feeding. I’m still waiting. Oh sure, they shrunk from the obscene I-Have-Twins-And-No-Shirt-Fits-So-I’m-Wearing-Mens-Unflattering-Button-Downs size.
Sisyphus
September 27, 2012 at 9:11 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
And today on io9: http://io9.com/5946516/why-are-men-so-obsessed-with-breasts Why are men obsessed with breasts? For those of you who are interested in the psychology and possibly the evolutionary background …
Mean Secretary
September 27, 2012 at 10:04 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Figured it out! Now onto business…
#1 – Can you really consider anyone from The Hills an “actress”?
#2 – Sharing is caring….well played.
#3 – I miss my boobs. People aren’t kidding when they say boobs are the first thing to go when you lose weight. There is nothing sadder (I’m a wee bit melodramatic) than putting on your bra and your boobs just sort of sink into it. I was used to the girls and I miss them, I don’t want the weight that went along with them but I want them back. Having implants is now something I might actually consider at some point. It isn’t a security issue other than I tend to hold my boobs now & again for whatever reason. Anyone else do that or am I the only weirdo? That and they look like sad sacks now, they’ve lost their pep.
#4 – Big or small, they still need to be contained sometimes. Why is that so damn difficult?