Distance in a relationship.
I know many of you Tweople either have Twitcrushes that you pine after in some private (or not-so-private) way without thinking that anything will ever come from it. I know many of you also have Twitcrushes that aren’t Twit anything in any way other than where you met. People meet via online dating from all over. Sometimes people meet through online communities like Deviant Art or from the “blogosphere” (and I don’t think it’s very spherical). I’ve met people through online games and I’ve had friends who ended up getting married after meeting in the same way.
The only problem with all of this is distance: How do you manage it?
One couple I know met on Twitter and they’re crazy about one another. They’re a few states away from each other and manage the distance by constant communication. They text regularly, call each other 2-3 times a day and use webcams to talk when they’re both at home. They see each other once a month or so when one flies to visit the other.
Is this the way it has to be for it to work? I think that’s up to you and whoever you’re interested in. What about visits every other weekend? Once every 2-3 months? I know someone else who plans to see his significant other three or four times before next summer. People do what they’re able to, financially, professionally, time willing … and hopefully it’s enough for both of them.
One person I know has a significant other who lives in a different part of the world. They both travel internationally with some frequency and are almost never together. They of course communicate regularly but the lack of … instancy … works for them. I think it works, in some ways, because they both have been really hurt in the past and are understandably a bit gun shy as far as committed relationships are concerned. So this arrangement allows them to ease into it, build trust in a way that’s safe and neither of them feel smothered since the other is never around. This works for them.
I think that’s the long and short of it. If you care for someone, both of you need to find what works for you. With technology being what it is these days you can text, you can talk, and you can see each other whenever you like, no matter where you are or what time it is. That’s really incredible.
Figuring out what works for both of you is key to a functional relationship. Starting with self awareness, and then deciding whether those things align with each other is the next big hurdle. We’ll get into relationships more later, but this is just what was on my mind. Do with it what you will and let’s get into the thick of things tomorrow.