Comedy Gold

I figured out why sometimes I’m unable to draw a full breath … or at very least I’ve discovered a correlation between it and events in my daily life over the last few months. And yes I know correlation doesn’t imply causation but it makes sense and it follows from what I’ve seen in passing on the internets.

I watched the debates tonight, which I guess distracted me a bit from my own personal woes, perhaps not entirely but at least to the point where I could devote some of my energy to being outraged that anyone takes some of these people seriously … or, let’s be honest, that the political system is what it is.

I’m not an anarchist and I’m also not saying I have all the answers … I don’t even have a good idea about what specifically needs to happen with our political system to have it functional and effective (if not efficient). I’m just saying that everyone seems to acknowledge that what we have is broken, possibly beyond repair, and we all just accept it.

I also have decided that there are a lot of ways these debates could be more entertaining. One thought: have porn randomly interspersed throughout the debate so that neither person knows when it’ll happen or what will be going on. Another idea I had was tasers if you go over your allotted time, or if you interrupt someone. I’d pay to control that taser button … I’d zap them when they had a second or two left early on just to let them know who was boss.

CV (Cubicle Views) suggested that instead of debates we have both people go through a Wipeout type obstacle course. I might actually pay to watch that too. If something like that were implemented you can bet there would be a younger field of candidates for each election. Do you think that McCain could have survived one run through the opening obstacle course on Wipeout? The very first obstacle where you get smacked into a pool of mud would definitely have done him in.

I don’t want to talk about who won or who lost but I’d really like to compliment Mr. Romney on his response when asked how his $5 Trillion budget ideas add up since they don’t seem to from all outward appearance … “Of course it adds up, just like your trillions in deficit …” Yes Mr. Romney … because we can all see where those numbers come from. All we have is your final number and then a bunch of handwaving and bravado. Solve for X motherfucker. Solve for X.

Comedy gold there.